Paul and I visited a spinal doctor at Guy's hospital yesterday. We had been led to believe the worst after the last meeting. That he would have to undergo a very risky operation that, even when successful, would result in limited movement for good. While his neck break had healed at the back it had not done so at the front ( he had what is known as a Jefferson fracture, shearing the top vertebra entirely in two front to back ).
The spinal team had met and discussed his case a week ago.
Thankfully, they finally agreed that, while there is only partial healing at the front right of the vertebra, the healed back and the strength of the surrounding ligaments suggest that it would be better to avoid the trauma of surgery and, gradually, with physio, wean him out of the collar.
His age, the risk of stroke and infection, are too strong.
While this is not a complete reprieve, there remain risks and concerns and should he begin to have pain or numbness they will need to look at him again, it does feel like a weight lifted, a brighter avenue.
I cannot express how grateful I am.
He has been very, very lucky.
One thing it has made us do...a long time ago here I wrote that we were going to get a civil partnership. We never got around to it. We are doing so now.
We travel down to Brighton today as we must spend 7 days in the town prior to the initial registration.The ceremony will take place on December 13th. A Saturday. I wish it could have been Friday 13th but at least I get my favourite number.
No fuss, no big do.
A number of people have asked why we are not getting married. While I am glad there is the opportunity for those gay men and women who wish to to do so my personal take on it is that the last thing I want to do is mimic an outmoded and overrated heterosexual tradition.
Besides, Paul just thinks it would be 'too poncey'.
I have, in the past, imagined putting together a good party. A mate is 'Black Elvis' and he would sing a few songs. I know a couple of DJs with very different sets. I know a great swing band. I even know the perfect venue.
But, add it all up and you're into the thousands very quickly.
I'd rather spend it on a new shower in the cottage for Paul. I'll have to say goodbye to my beloved claw foot tub but it will be 'adding value' as they say.
But whatever we do and however we do it I am immensely thankful for the opportunity to do so.
I always wake each day and quietly say thank you for my life. Hippy shit I know but genuine. However, these past few months there has been an unwanted shadow of worry always just behind everything.
It is why I stopped posting here until we had seen the specialist.
That I feel I can start posting again is just one example of things can now move on.
It feels like exhaling, slowly and with great relief.
This dingy,grey,overcast day could not feel any sweeter.
warm beer and misanthropy.
- A reprieve.
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